Have you been called one of these terms before: racist, sexist, homophobic, Nazi… or been compared to this guy:
then you are probably a straight white male who is concerned about the decline of Western Civilization and this post is for you! I am sure you have recently been informed by the media, your elected politicians or your college professors that you are evil and you must be punished for crimes that took place decades or centuries ago that you didn’t commit.
Well the good news is that I am here to help you learn to embrace Cultural Marxism and enjoy the decline of Western Civilization with a few handy tips to help you along the way.
You see, as a straight white male, you are directly responsible for all of the evil things that have ever happened in the world. From slavery, colonialism, and the Holocaust to drowning puppies, school shootings and drug overdoses. Even though you weren’t there for any of those things, it’s still probably your fault you evil shitlord. So I am going to provide you with a few tips to help atone for your straight white male privilege. So let us go through what we can do to embrace our future Social Justice Warrior overlords.
Women today are empowered and independent. With things like alimony, child support, WIC and EBT, women are becoming more independent and it’s important for you to understand that in order to embrace the future matriarchy. Here are some things you can do to serve the empowered matriarch in your life. Sit when you pee. Nothing is more misogynistic than forgetting to lower the toilet seat when you are done so you are going to avoid all that hassle sit upon your porcelain throne like a dainty princess from now on. Also, allow your future wife to sleep with strange men she meets on the internet. As long as you don’t cry too much, you can sit in the corner and watch. Cuckoldry = empowerment! Also, make sure to give her all of your paycheck each month in order to support her food addiction because fat is the new sexy!
Since you wont be having much sex with your wife, you may have to explore alternative options. Have you considered homosexuality? You probably haven’t because you are a straight male Nazi homophobe but we are here to fix that. Embracing the gay subculture will be your first step in doing that. First you will need to purchase a sailor outfit or assless chaps with the allowance given to you by your empowered feminist wife. Next, attend the gay pride parade in your town. Embrace the love. Nothing says I support gay love & marriage like riding around on a parade float shaped like a giant penis while men sodomize each other with sex toys. Afterwards, you can get all poppered up and barebacked by a group of strange men thus contracting HIV. By contracting HIV you are atoning for your straight white male privilege because everyone knows the straightest, whitest male of the all, Ronald Reagan created HIV in an attempt to exterminate all the gays and minorities.
Speaking of minorities, you are probably concerned about multiculturalism or open-border immigration in your country, but no worries. Fine organizations like the National Council of La Raza and the Council on American Islamic Relations are here to help. Just ignore the fact they are full of Hispanic nationalists or Islamic Jihadists. Trust me, ignorance is bliss. You see, the culture of Western Civilization needs to be enriched by the likes of drug cartels, third world peasants and radical Islamo-fascists. Borders be racist yo! It will be important to embrace their languages and customs in order to better accommodate them. Nothing says cultural enrichment like stoning a woman for reading a book. Am I right? To my friends in Europe, practice this phrase to help you get by: Allahu Akhbar! It will do you well. And to my fellow Americans, learn this phrase: ¡Allah es muy bueno!
Forget your identity, your culture, your language and your traditions and embrace these subcultures. You’ll be better for it. And you can forget your worrying about things like the national debt, I mean what is that anyways? Economics dont matter. We’ll have a new economy where we live in huts and forage for nuts & berries.
So embrace cultural Marxism my straight, white male friends. Western Civilization is overrated anyways.